When the Impala turns Human
by sofknowseverything
Summary: In which the Impala turns Human and hits on Castiel.


When strange things happen, Dean doesn't let himself be surprised anymore; he simply lets them happen and pretends there's nothing wrong going on.

But when the Impala turns into a human, Dean can't say he isn't surprised. There's shock in his face as he sees his car in human form; a sassy man, with black hair and soft blue eyes with a cocky smile in his lips.

It's obvious the person in front of him is his car. He sees the license plate tattooed in his shirtless chest, and on his left arm his and his brother's initials carved in the skin.

"Hey Dean." The Impala says.

Dean blinks. Maybe he's only dreaming… Yeah, that might be it.

"Are you just gonna stand there and look pretty or are you gonna spend the day with me?"

Dean shakes his head. Alright, maybe it isn't a dream, and he actually has his car in front of him, speaking to him.

"Hmm." He starts, only to stop himself after a few seconds. "I thought you would be a girl if you ever turned up being human." Dean stated, trying to make casual conversation with his car.

"I guess this a time where we're all disappointed. I thought you would be happier to see me come alive! I've been waiting for years! I mean seriously, after all those times you brought people to me and fucked them on my back seat… I thought we were friends! I guess I was wrong then."

Damn! His car is sassy as fuck!

"Sorry." Dean says, his cheeks flushed red as he remembers the countless times he brought people to his car and fucked them there. Chicks dig nice cars and there were times where dudes also dig them.

"Baby…" The Impala interrupts, his arm resting against Dean's neck. "If you're gonna talk to me better call me by my name! You call me Baby all the time, so you better not stop now!"

"Sure baby." Dean says, feeling a bit weird talking to his car… But what the hell, it's not like he hasn't done it before!

"Awesome! Now where's that gorgeous angel of yours?" Baby asks with a flashing grin in his face. "Because seriously, he has a very ass!"

Dean chose to ignore the last comment. He is not gonna have his car tell him about Castiel's ass right now.

"Cas is working ya know. He's an angel." Dean tries to say calmly, but it's obvious he isn't very happy his car is now interested in his best friend.

Baby scoffs and takes his arm from Dean's back. He sits down on the steps to the bunker, his legs wide open and his back resting against the last step.

"Yo Cas!" The Impala calls. "I wanna meet you, get your pretty ass over here."

Dean rolls his eyes and looks at his car in human form. He still can't believe it. The way his car is praying to _Castiel, the Angel of the Lord_… He really needs to teach his car some manners.

"Baby, you can't just call Cas like that… He's not gonna show up just because you want to me-" Dean stops speaking the second he hears the familiar flapping of Castiel's wings. "Oh God what have I done wrong…" Dean whispers to himself, his eyes closed shut as he tries to forget everything that happened during the last five minutes.

"Dean." Cas says as he touches Dean's shoulder. "Who's that?"

Baby just gets up from the floor and beams.

"Castiel!" It says happily. "It's so good to finally meet you! And oh my God! You've even prettier than I remembered!"

Castiel frowns and looks at Dean.

"What's he doing?"

Baby simply starts walking in circles around Castiel trying to see every little detail of him he can.

"And gosh; that ass! Dean come here!" Baby calls as he pulls Dean arm down and squats in front of Cas's ass. "It's a gorgeous piece of ass! Oh! And to think he's been seated in me! What an honor!"

Dean shuts his eyes closed even tighter.

"For fuck's sake, kill me now." He begs silently, his cheeks flushed hot as he listened to Baby describe Cas in detail. "Just shut up, Baby!" Dean orders.

Baby stops dead in his tracks and looks Dean in the eyes. A smirk crosses his mouth and Dean can't help but feel like something bad is gonna come out of this.

Castiel frowns and tilts his head towards Dean.

"Is this your boyfriend, Dean?" He asks, his voice showing exactly how confused he is. "Is that why you gave him that term of endearment?"

Before Dean has the chance to speak, Baby grabs Cas's shoulder and pushes their bodies together.

"It's not really like that, Cas." The newly human says. "I'm a really old friend of the boys and I arrived here recently… Would you like to show me the town? Maybe we could grab a drink together later tonight…"

_ Oh hell no!_ Dean thinks to himself. How is Dean supposed to react to his own car inviting his best friend out for drinks?! That's right… He isn't.

"If you wanna go out, we can go together Baby." Dean offers but his car isn't listening to him. The Impala's face is pressed against Castiel's ear and he is whispering something to him.

Castiel's eyes go wide and he looks at Dean, asking for help with his eyes.

"I know you want it, Castiel…" The Impala whispers, and gives him a kiss in his cheek. "I wanna go out with you… I wanna do bad things with you, 'cause you know what, Angel? You're too precious to have some douche doin' all those things to ya."

Dean isn't sure if he's embarrassed with Baby or angry with him. Why does he have any right to come here and steal what belongs to him?! Dean wants to be the one whispering in Castiel's ear. He wants to be the one who offers to show Cas how he can rock his world. And as soon as his car turns human, the first thing he does is hit on Castiel and ask him out. Dean feels both _jealous_ that Cas is not actually running away from Baby and is still under his arms, and _angry_ that Baby is doing all the things he want to do with Cas but doesn't have the courage to actually act on them.

Despite his inner monologue, Dean notices that Castiel is subtly trying to tell Baby he is not interested.

"Aw com'ere, Cas!" Baby says, trying to pull Castiel to his lap. Thankfully, Castiel is using his Angel strength to be as heavy as he can, making it impossible to get Baby to lift him.

Dean walks up to them and touches Castiel's shoulder.

"Maybe I should leave you too alone. I'll be inside if you need me."

The moment he touches Cas, his whole body goes soft, almost like a human body and he is surprised with Baby finally being able to place him in his lap.

"Dean…" Castiel says, his hand grabbing Dean's wrist before he could walk further away from him. "Please, don't go."

Dean can't stay. He's feeling all wrong inside and the last thing he needs is to see his car kiss Cas before he ever gets the chance to do it first. _Because you're a fucking coward, that's why you haven't done it._

He lowers his eyes and tries to take his wrist from Cas's reach, but the Angel isn't having any of it. His hand keeps tugging the other and his eyes have a soft pleading to not be left alone with the Impala.

"Baby. Let him go now!" Dean commands. "Can't you see he's not interested?"

Cas's eyes are wide open and he looks afraid of saying something that could hurt the other.

"Cas is too good of a guy to say it himself, but he wants none of it. Let. Go. Now." His voice full of anger, which makes Baby huff annoyed.

"Even when I turn human I gotta have you bitchin' all over me."

Dean smiles as his car lets go of Castiel, who immediately gets up and just like a child would, hides behind Dean's body to cover himself from Baby.

"But look at that… That Angel is the cutest thing ever!" Baby whines. "If you don't say somethin' to him, I'll make a move again." He finishes with a wide grin, letting Dean know he knows exactly what Dean feels towards the Angel.

"I'll lock you up on the garage and I won't use you for a year if you try something again." Dean warns, but Baby just smirks.

"If I were you I'll just get it over with. I'm kinda sick of seeing you make gooey eyes at each other whenever we're travellin'."

Castiel fisted Dean's shirt and his forehead knocked against Dean's shoulder.

"What's he talking about, Dean?"

Dean turned his face so he could look Castiel in the eyes.

"'Bout somethin' I should have done a long time ago." Dean says as he kisses Castiel on the lips.

The kiss is brief, as if its point is to promise that if Castiel wants another one could come right after. Dean has his eyes closed as his lips touch Castiel's and he feels a weight lift from his shoulders. He pours his heart in that kiss, conveying all the things he has been too much of a coward to actually admit out loud. The kiss is full of meaning and all too soon, Dean ends it.

Neither of them speaks for a few seconds. Castiel has his lips slightly parted and the first thing he manages to say is a soft "Wow".

Dean starts to feel antsy as Castiel says nothing else and he lets the regret wash over him.

"I'm sorry, Cas… I totally understand if you want to leave, though I would rather have you stay here."

The Impala snickers softly and Dean ignores the impulse he has to kick his ass.

"No." Castiel whispers, and lets his face fall back against Dean's should. "I want to stay too."

Dean is washed over by surprise and relief when he understands that not only Castiel wants to stay, but that his hands aren't fisting his shirt anymore; they're snaking their way over Dean's stomach to hold him. Dean can't decide if he wants to smile and let the whole thing happen or if he wants to turn around, kiss Cas again and start screaming to the wind Castiel likes him back. He decides against the second option because he's not a fourteen year old anymore, damn it!

"I'm glad you want to stay…" Dean whispers and his hands grab Castiel's linked arms. "But we're gonna need to change your things from your room…"

Castiel's head rises so he can look Dean in the eyes.

"Why?" He asks confused. "Am I to sleep elsewhere?" It's not that he needs to sleep, but Castiel found recently that he enjoys resting for a while with his eyes closed.

"Yes, dumbass… I'm tired of sleeping alone." Dean says with a fond smile in his lips. "And I would really appreciate if I had you in bed with me."

Baby probably decided he had been quiet for a long time and that now is the time to speak again.

"Aww… You two are so adorable! I should have turned human a long time ago and made this happen sooner!"

Dean laughs and Castiel asks what Baby is talking about.

"Oh, yeah… I never actually introduced you two… Cas, this is Baby. Baby, this is Castiel." Dean says.

Castiel's eyes go wide as it finally clicks.

"You mean Baby as in your car?!" He asks astonished. "I have to turn him back, because I'm sure it was someone just trying to mess with you Dean."

Baby looks at them in panic.

"Dean! Please don't let him! I've only been human for like an hour! You gotta lemme stay for a while longer! I wanna know what it feels like to ride a car! I wanna know both sides! Please lemme stay like this a while longer." He begs.

Dean wants to say no and get his silent car back, but the one in front of his is his Baby, and he loves that car so much he couldn't deny him his only wish.

"You have until tomorrow. Go get Sam and you can go both to a bar or something. I'm not going, ok? I wanna stay here with Cas and help him move into my room."

Baby beams at them.

"Thank you Dean!" He says happily as he enters the bunker and starts calling out for a bewildered Sam to get his ass by the door in five because they're hitting every bar in the district and he's not gonna wait for nobody!


End file.
